The 10 Best Ways To Approach Women

1. Be Eye-Catchingly Honest
Remember George Costanza’s approach in Seinfeld: “My name is George. I’m unemployed and live with my parents.” Hey, it worked for him. So why not try being straight with women? Tell them you’re not much of a player. David Wells, 31, confirms, “When I was younger, I made the mistake of thinking I had to act suave,” he says. But since then, he’s upfront about the fact that he’s shy. “A lot of women think it’s charming!” he says.

 As a guy, you’ve probably heard more than an earful of advice on how to bust out of your timid shell and engage women in witty repartee. Sure, these gregarious mentors may mean well, but they often forget that it’s not easy to change who you are. Think of it in basketball terms. If your team lacks height, you don’t repeatedly try to go inside. No, you use your speed, passing and outside shooting to beat the competition. Same goes with dating: play up your strengths, and you’ll improve your odds of romantic success. Here’s how to do just that.



2. Ask for Help
Damsels in distress have been doing this for years; there’s no reason guys can’t take advantage of women’s desire to swoop in and save the day, too. Just be sure to pick a topic on which women will feel they can offer some assistance. You’ll rarely go wrong seeking style advice (“Excuse me, but I need a woman’s opinion on this jacket. Is it a keeper, or should it never leave my closet again?”) or relationships (“Hey, my pal and I need a woman’s perspective on how long a guy should wait before calling after a date. What’s your opinion?”). Asking for advice will ease the pressure of it feeling like a pick-up line.

3. Choose Your Venue Wisely

It’s much easier to meet and talk to women in places where there’s something to talk about. That’s why shy guys may be better off skipping your typical nightclub or café and attending a place with conversation-worthy 

surroundings, like an art gallery or charity function. “Did you enter the silent auction?” “What do you think about that painting?” Your icebreakers are already built-in by the scenario. Plus, you’re not some random guy. You’re “a guy at this event,” which will allay her defenses and work in your favor.

4. Just Add a Question Mark

You’re starting to get to know this woman and suddenly you can’t think of what to say. Here’s an easy solution: simply repeat the last notable thing she said and place a question mark after it. “Oh, you work as a female professional wrestler; what’s it like?” Bingo!

5. Bring Your Best Wingman

There are guys who can help you meet women… and there are guys who will do the exact opposite. Go out to the clubs or wherever with the former. If he’s married, that can be even better. Married guys are not competition, and they prove you have responsible friends.

 6. Let Others do Your Dirty Work
Can’t bring yourself to move your feet in her direction, smile, and say hello? Enlist someone else to do the ice-breaking honors for you. Ask a waiter, bartender, or your wingman pal to approach the woman to deliver a drink or a compliment like, “My friend thinks you’re cute. Care to join us?”

 7. Utilize Today’s Technology to Air Your Opinions
If talking face-to-face doesn’t show you at your best, go ahead and lean on all that technology has to offer. A thoughtful, well-crafted email can convince a woman that you have plenty to say even if you didn’t chat non-stop in person. For bonus points, refer to something she mentioned during your last date by saying, “I’ve given more thought to the conversation we had about your sister, and something else came to mind that I thought might be useful…” Then let those typed words weave their magic.

 8. Take an Acting or Improv Class
First encounters are very similar to auditions. She plays her role; you play yours. And the more comfortable and capable you are, the better you’ll be during this encounter. As Alex Fendrich, an actor at Chicago’s Second City, puts it: “Improv helps you get used to making an idiot of yourself.” In other words, it is perfect for practicing your flirting routine.

 9. Listen Attentively
What a novel concept this is! Instead of focusing on “What am I going to say next?” or “How am I going to make her laugh?” just pay attention to what she’s talking about, and chances are good that you’ll come up with a relevant response.

10. Seek out the Yin to Your Yang

If you’re not much of a talker, someone who yaks up a storm may well love spending time with you. You know the old “opposites attract” adage. And how Katy Perry crooned about her “missing puzzle piece.” Be her best audience ever, and trust us, she’ll keep coming back for more.

How to Stay Focused at Work

I’m sitting at my desk, researching an article on how to stay focused at work. As I open up a PubMed study, I realize I have 87 emails in my inbox. Then the buzzer rings — Greatist’s monthly supply of pistachios has arrived. I get up to answer the door right as my mom texts me. I answer the door, put away the nuts, text my mom back, and return to my research. Derek starts singing.

For the average person working in an office or from home, it’s easy to become distracted. Yet finding focus — being able to completely concentrate on a specific task or tasks — helps people get sh!t done effortlessly. So learn how to zero in, avoid distraction, and stay super-productive all workday long.

Not From Concentrate? — The Need-to-Know




In the office, nearly 50 percent of American employees say they work for only 15 minutes before becoming distracted, while 53 percent report wasting an hour or more a day because of disruptions. From constant noise to overflowing inboxes to feeling fatigued or stressed, almost anything can cause people to lose focus.

Attention span varies widely between people, but 20-somethings may be at a particular disadvantage[1]. With the explosion of the Internet and text messaging, many Gen Y’ers may be dealing with shorter attention spans[2]. And hey dudes, listen up: Some research suggests men have a harder time focusing than women and are more likely to suffer from attention span issues.

Turns out brain structure might be to blame for a wandering mind. The prefrontal cortex is the area of the brain that regulates attention span and handles our emotions[3]. So any strong sentiment, from frustration with a boss to being angry with a significant other can be a case for distraction. Still, people aren’t born with a mind in complete disarray. The brain works hard to stay attentive: One study found that when listening to boring people, the brain prevents us from losing focus by “rewriting” speech so it sounds more interesting and we’re more apt to pay attention[4]. (So that’s how we survived lectures in college…)

Zoom In — Your Action Plan

It’s possible to find flow —or effortless concentration on and enjoyment of a task —by tackling a challenge that’s meaningful and manageable. Having a job you love with a reasonable workload makes achieving flow a lot easier. Whether at home or at the office, there are lots of useful tips that help people stay focused at work and make the most of the day.

Pinpoint the problem. What causes you to lose focus? Is it fatigue, hunger, or a Twitter addition? Figuring out the issue is the first step towards trying to fix it.
Plan ahead. Envision what the workday will look like before it happens. Write down what things need to get done or what you want to accomplish. (Even in the shower!) Setting goals can help people stay on track.
Eat a good breakfast. Eggs Benedict may do more than jumpstart metabolism. Studies have found that eating breakfast can improve attention and concentration, too[5]. For starters, try a tasty berry parfait!
Meditate. Scientists have discovered that meditation may enhance certain brain functions linked to attention[6]. It can’t hurt to try shutting everything off to get more done in the long run.
Work offline. One survey found nearly 60 percent of disruptions at work come from email, social networks, and cell phones. So for tasks that don’t involve the Internet, try using old-fashioned paper and pen — perfect for brainstorming! Put your phone on silent and only check email occasionally (try once every hour). Limit time on social media too. You can “like” your friend’s cute picture of his dog later…
Do smaller tasks. Some psychologists suggest our brain works way too hard to process incredible amounts of information. So working on one large project can be overwhelming — like trying to plan a whole event at work in one afternoon. Split up projects, like ordering food and booking plane tickets and hotels, so they’re easier to accomplish.
Time box. Work on one project for a specific amount of time, rather than working until something is finished. (Write emails until 2 pm, instead of stopping at inbox zero). This way we know we can work hard until a certain time, and then be able to take a break.
Clean up. Anything from post-its to pretzels and family photos can become a distraction. Clear off the workspace and only have out what’s needed (laptop, notebook, water-bottle — check!) to help stay in the zone.
Try an app. Discard any distractions with a little help from technology. Certain apps can block websites (so long, Pinterest) or black out computer screen backgrounds so only one program is in view at a time. There are web tools that can calculate how much time is spent on websites, too. (Now that could be scary…)
Reward yourself. A little motivation can go a long way. Say, “After I finish this page, I’ll go buy a cookie!” (Try these vegan delicacies.) Watch that to-do list vanish in no time.
Take little breaks. Getting to the office early, working through lunch, and staying late doesn’t necessarily mean getting more stuff done. Short bursts of hard work followed by quick breaks can be more beneficial than never taking a breather, since the brain may just burn out.
Wear headphones. At Greatist we practice the “headphone rule”: No one’s allowed to talk to someone who’s wearing ear gear. It’s a great way to show you’re working on something important and don’t have time to chat. (Sometimes I don’t even have music playing – my secret!)
Try caffeine. Coffee or tea may help people feel more alert and able to concentrate in the cubicle[7]. If iced coffee isn’t your cup of… coffee, try chewing gum, which may help increase alertness too!